Category Archives: Bev-Nap

Things I wish I’d said, witticisms, clever asides, often overhead in a bar where the only thing to write it down on for posterity is a bev-nap

Gender Nuetral

Hermaphrodite in the Louvre

In the March 5, 2007 issue of The New Yorker, Lauren Collins wrote a Talk of the Town piece about contretemps between Frank Bruni, New York Times food critic, and Jeffrey Chodorow, a chef perhaps best known for his nationally televised Rocco’s failure in The Restaurant. The dust-up blossomed into a full page ad placed by Mr. Chodorow in The Times.
In her piece, Ms Collins wrote of another (smaller) response some years earlier…”an author placed a series of notices, under the name of a character from her novel, directed at the paper’s lead book reviewer. ‘Yoo-Hoo! My Cute Kakutani!’ they read. ‘Lieb Goldkorn is calling.'”
The latest issue of the magazine carries this letter, from Leslie Epstein, the author of the Lieb Goldkorn novels, “Lauren Collins and the fact-checkers at The New Yorker do not have to feel too bad about mistaking my gender. When I was born, Leslie Howard was all the rage; hence the name of my parent’s little boy. Then along came Leslie Caron, and everything went to pot. With my own experience as a guide, I strongly advise all new parents to give their children utterly unambiguous names. Like Caligula.”

Google Rankings

Cordials

This blog has the second highest rank for the search phrase “Designer Bev Nap”. Seems as though “Bev Nap” is a seldom used phrase on the web, and “Designer” just makes it rarer.

UPDATE – April 10, 2007: Fortune’s Pawn has achieved Google notariety, now the highest, and second highest, ranking results for the search term “bev nap” A hearty thank you to the universe from all of us here laboring in Fortune Land!

Be careful what you wish for…

WishesOverheard in Milwaukee:

Slacker Chick in Heidi haircut, Mao cap and gas station jacket:

What really pissed me off was we were fooling around one night and he was texting another girl. I’m like sitting there naked ready to do whatever and he’s pulling that shit. He’s all about wanting to eat out my asshole and then he does that.

Slacker Dude:

I guess he wasn’t really ready to get everything he wanted.

Overheard at Landmark Lanes, March 10, 2007

Serious relationship trouble

If You Can’t ‘Date’ Yourself, You Might As Well Commit Suicide

Dude #1: Look at me — I’m a hairy beast. I don’t think even I could date myself.
Dude #2: Yeah, man, I don’t think I could even date you — you just wouldn’t be my type.
Dude #1: That hurts, man.
Dude #2: It would be a shitty relationship, anyway.
Dude #1: … Yeah, you’re right.

–Neptune Diner

Overheard by: Nathaniel Jones

via Overheard in New York, Feb 19, 2007

Say what?

French poster la Dolce Vita“Everyone called her Gigi, and I remember her dancing uninhibitedly with friends in the Roman ruins at Ballbek late at night during the civil war.”
So says Charles Glass in “The Lord of No Man’s Land: A guided tour through Lebanon’s ceaseless war.” in the latest issue of Harper’s Magazine
Now this may well be true, but it reads to me like someone who has been wanting to use that line for a long, long time and this article was his excuse. Someday I’ll have a line worthy of writing an entire Harper’s piece in support of.
Either that or he’s simply channeling Fellini. Wasn’t that scene in La Dolce Vita??

Against the Dying of the Light

On a death and dying roll here, so here is one other oldie. From The Times again, November 17, 2002:

To the Editor:
“More Than Death, Fearing a Muddled Mind” (front page, Nov. 11) gave a vivid description of dementia.
I am 92, my wife is 91, and we have been married for more than 68 years. I can tell you that to be a caretaker of someone who is afflicted with this disease is to be cursed. There are constant suggestions of what to do next from well-meaning friends and relatives, but you still only do what you can. It is very difficult.
Hy Grober
Teaneck, N.J., Nov. 11, 2002

Nothing is known of him now

While I’m on the topic of old obituaries, I have a favorite one, “Hermine Braunsteiner Ryan was a Queens homemaker in 1964 when The New York Times revealed her notorious past as a vicious Nazi death camp guard.” is how The Times obit began. She passed away in April of 1999, but the Times failed to notice this until December 2, 2005. Her belated remembrance ended with this heavily laden paragraph, a novel in short form:

…in prison, Mrs. Ryan refused to speak to other inmates and liked to sew dolls and soft toys. When she was released, she went to a nursing home in Bochum-Linden where her husband lived. A German weekly, Süddeutsche Zeitung Magazin, wrote of the couple in 1996, saying he had been seen pushing her wheelchair, and asking her if she would like a bouquet of flowers. She did not respond. He looked at his watch and pushed on. Nothing is known of him now.

No known reason

I just read an old Times obituary of Robert Volpe, a New York Police detective and expert on art thefts. Anyhow, aside from him being an interesting person, the obit carried this rather odd sentence:

He had an Armani suit to wear to auctions and a Groucho Marx disguise for no known reason.

I don’t think I have ever read such a line in an obit before. Somehow that didn’t make it into the Blog of Death entry on him.