Category Archives: Bev-Nap

Things I wish I’d said, witticisms, clever asides, often overhead in a bar where the only thing to write it down on for posterity is a bev-nap

These Things Snowball


Pawn’s old buddy Dave has some interesting comments to make about Congressman WIlliam Jefferson’s indictment over at the 100 Word Rant:

They found 90 thousand bucks in Bill Jefferson’s freezer. That’s slightly less than Bob Byrd’s maid normally finds between the sofa cushions. A 90 grand tip would be an insult to Dubya after giving some Halliburton exec’s wingtips one of his forked-tongue shoeshines. All Congressmen are traditionally assumed to be utterly corruptible, so why go after the gentleman from Louisiana? Let’s just say the reason starts with “n” and rhymes with “we grow.” While I have yet to peruse the entire 16-count indictment against “Dollar Bill” Jefferson, I’m pretty sure I’ll find the word uppity in there somewhere.
100 word rant: these things snowball

You tell ’em, Dave!

Why not to be in Napoli

Paul Cezanne - Old Woman with Rosary

This from the New York Times, yesterday, in a story about the problem of full landfills in Naples, Italy (emphasis mine):

As the piles rose and the stench spread, 100 or more refuse fires burned some nights — one of many trash related protests that included, inevitably, mothers clutching rosaries on railroad tracks.

We like this aura of inevitability to mothers clutching rosaries on railroad tracks, but must admit to being somehwat baffled by it.

Words and Wisdom of Dr. Fank-n-furter

Of Course, If He’d Said That about Clue I’d Have to Club Him
Theater fan: What would you say about a person who saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show only once and didn’t feel any need to see it again?
Tim Curry: I’d say that was a person who was in full possession of their senses.

–Actor’s Fund event, 52nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Big Larry

via Overheard in New York, May 17, 2007

Oops, langzamer als je blieft

MRI image of brain

While Pawn considers whether to relocate to Europe, he is studying up on what may await him across the pond. This tip comes from How To Survive Holland a website run by the recruitment firm Undutchables :

Tip: If you try to speak Dutch to a native and your accent is foreign, they will immediately speak your language. If your accent is reasonably good they will speak Dutch to you very fast. If you then say, “Oops, langzamer als je blieft (slower please)”, they will again immediately revert to your language. There is no solution to this – I just thought you should know.
Peter Forster – Vanuatu

Pawn should be ready for this, having pleaded “slower please” for years now.

Ladies Object Lesson With Mirror

While that may sound like the title of an impressionist piece by Pissarro, it is in fact just the latest interesting Google search to lead some unsuspecting fool into Fortune. One of the interesting things about gathering statistics on blog visits is seeing how people get here. Thanks to FireStats Pawn gets to learn something new every day about just what people are searching for on the web. In the case of Ladies Object Lesson With Mirror Good ol’ Fortune’s Pawn has garnered positions 2 and 3 in Google’s ranking.
ladies object lesson with mirror – Google Search


After this posting, no doubt, that will change to 1,2 and 3. Another proud day for we Pawns!

Jumbo Religious Bon-bons


Paul Hina has some interesting comments about the Chocolate Jesus debacle in New York, this past Easter. Here is an excerpt:

“Catholic League head Bill Donohue called it “one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever”.

Really? Worst assault ever?

Donahue is an ass, and anyone familiar with his perpetual sense of outrage knows it.  I guess in some ways I can see how Christians might be offended by something like Serrano’s Piss Christ.  But this piece seems tame in comparison. If the piece were shaped from doody instead of chocolate then I could understand. But to me this artist is making an important social comment about the confectionary capitalism that revolves around western religious holidays.

Paul Hina: Chocolate Jesus

Well said!

Gender Nuetral

Hermaphrodite in the Louvre

In the March 5, 2007 issue of The New Yorker, Lauren Collins wrote a Talk of the Town piece about contretemps between Frank Bruni, New York Times food critic, and Jeffrey Chodorow, a chef perhaps best known for his nationally televised Rocco’s failure in The Restaurant. The dust-up blossomed into a full page ad placed by Mr. Chodorow in The Times.
In her piece, Ms Collins wrote of another (smaller) response some years earlier…”an author placed a series of notices, under the name of a character from her novel, directed at the paper’s lead book reviewer. ‘Yoo-Hoo! My Cute Kakutani!’ they read. ‘Lieb Goldkorn is calling.'”
The latest issue of the magazine carries this letter, from Leslie Epstein, the author of the Lieb Goldkorn novels, “Lauren Collins and the fact-checkers at The New Yorker do not have to feel too bad about mistaking my gender. When I was born, Leslie Howard was all the rage; hence the name of my parent’s little boy. Then along came Leslie Caron, and everything went to pot. With my own experience as a guide, I strongly advise all new parents to give their children utterly unambiguous names. Like Caligula.”