Fortune’s Pawn

Pawn was in a deli this morning, having breakfast, and another diner came in and took his seat at the counter. He leaned in conspiratorially and asked the waitress if she wanted to hear an Obama joke. He then proceeded to tell it.

Obama goes up to heaven and approaches the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is there waiting for him.
St. Peter: Can I help you?
Obama: I’m President Barack Obama.
St. Peter: You were president? I don’t think so.
Obama: Yes sir, I was.
St. Peter: When were you inaugurated?
Obama: Ten minutes ago.

The waitress looked at him with a blank expression. “Get it - he got assassinated. Ha, haha”

Pawn was inclined to offer this version of the joke:

McCain goes up to heaven and approaches the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is there waiting for him.
St. Peter: Can I help you?
McCain: I’m President John McCain.
St. Peter: You were president? I don’t think so.
McCain: Yes sir, I was.
St. Peter: When were you inaugurated?
McCain: Ten minutes ago.

Get it - he keeled over dead with a heart attack, or was it cancer…

Let’s face it, if the joke is offensive and just as unfunny when the shoe is on the other foot, then maybe it doesn’t need to be told.

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Every four years, like clockwork, the far-left fringe of the Democratic Party comes out of the woodwork with one or another idea which is sure to polarize the electorate against them, driving vast tracts of voters into the waiting embrace of the right, and ensuring another insufferable term of Republican leadership. I know, I am a member of the far-left fringe. But, I can see this for what it is; a bad idea with the potential to screw the party out of yet another opportunity to lead.

“The vast amount of human activity ought to be none of the government’s business,” Frank said during a Capitol Hill news conference. “I don’t think it is the government’s business to tell you how to spend your leisure time.”
Legislators aim to snuff out penalties for pot use - CNN.com

Four years ago it was Gavin Newsom, mayor of San Francisco, who just couldn’t wait for the law to catch up to his ambition, and almost single-handedly started the stampede towards same-sex marriage in California. This time it’s Barney Frank and marijuana. Jeez!

Must we? How does this do anything but help the right? Barack Obama will have to choose between endorsing the move, giving a potentially powerful wedge to McCain, or opposing it, further disenchanting a sizable chunk of the youth vote who are already disillusioned by his rightward tack on FISA and other recent changes (be they real or perceived).

Why did Frank have to bring this up now? What possible purpose is served when he knows, and he must know, that it will not possibly pass his own house, hell even his own caucus, let alone get to the president’s desk.

Yikes what poor legislative reasoning he has. Must have an old pot debt to clear.

Do us a favor Barney, go back to reading the New Yorker.

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In a move that puts the ass in classic, Geo. Bush left his final G8 summit with this parting shot:

As he prepared to fly out from Japan, he told his fellow leaders: “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”

President Bush made the private joke in the summit’s closing session, senior sources said yesterday. His remarks were taken as a two-fingered salute from the President from Texas who is wedded to the oil industry.
Bush to G8: ‘Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter’ - World Politics, World - The Independent

Remind me again why we should be anything but grateful to see him leave the world stage?

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Pawn was visiting western Wisconsin this past weekend, and read this bizarre missive in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, a response to an article about same sex marriage. I am still not sure exactly what the writer, one Charles Charnstrom, of Watertown, was trying to get at:

Whenever objection is raised to GLBT issues or same-sex marriage, name calling is invoked, usually either “hate-filled” or “homophobic.” I am against same-sex marriage and I am not homophobic or hate-filled.

Civilization is fragile and marriage is hard. Living with a person of the opposite sex is much more difficult than living with someone of the same sex. If same-sex couples are granted the same benefits as married couples, people will cease to get married and have kids.

Proof can be found in other Western countries. Babies are not being born from Japan to Italy. Russia even made a national holiday for workers to stay home and procreate.
Letters to the editor for Sunday, June 29

Last time I checked, neither Japan, Italy or Russia permitted same sex marriage, so he can’t possibly mean that those countries were lead to extreme measures due to such a move. If I read it correctly, the only reason men and women marry is because it helps to compensate for the onerous duty of living together and having sex. At least I think that’s what he’s trying to say.

Hmm….

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A week ago The Independent online broke the story (poo-pooed in the US MSM) that the Bush administration and our viceroy in Iraq were negotiating a then secret agreement with the Iraqis which would allow Bush to “declare a military victory in Iraq and say his 2003 invasion has been vindicated before he leaves office.” Here is an excerpt from today’s follow-up, which details modifications to the agreement meant to molify an increasingly restive Maliki government:

The agreement is being negotiated by David Satterfield, the US State Department’s top adviser on Iraq, who still maintains it can be initialled by a July deadline which Mr Bush set last year last year. “It’s doable,” he told reporters in Baghdad. “We think it’s an achievable goal.”

At a news conference, Mr Satterfield kept repeating that the US wants only to create a more independent Iraq. “We want to see Iraqi sovereignty strengthened, not weakened,” he said.

But Iraqis say that US demands for long-term military bases in the country even if the numbers are reduced, give the lie to that assertion.

US negotiatiors are also determined to maintain policies that allow them to arrest Iraqis without the approval of Iraqi courts, maintaining immunity for US troops and contractors from Iraqi prosecution and carrying out military operations without the Iraqi government’s knowledge or approval.

Washington also wants to retain control over Iraqi airspace and the right to refuel planes in the air, which has raised concerns that President Bush wants to have the option of using Iraq as a base to attack Iran.
Bush forced to rethink plan to keep Iraq bases - Americas, World - The Independent

Is it just me, or is this guy up for the George Orwell Public Speaking award?

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I have been meaning for a week to get around to addressing this absurd question asked by George Stephanopolous, of Mickey Mouse dot com, at last week’s Democratic Presidential debate in Pennsylvania:

MR. STEPHANOPOULOS: Senator Obama, let’s stay in the region. Iran continues to pursue a nuclear option. Those weapons, if they got them, would probably pose the greatest threat to Israel. During the Cold War, it was the United States policy to extend deterrence to our NATO allies. An attack on Great Britain would be treated as if it were an attack on the United States. Should it be U.S. policy now to treat an Iranian attack on Israel as if it were an attack on the United States? (as per Council for Foreign Relations transcript)

I held off because there has been such a din off criticism of the debate, and criticism of the criticism, i figured someone else would raise this.

The responses to this question varied from Sen. Obama’s rather restrained

…I will take no options off the table when it comes to preventing them from using nuclear weapons…

which was wrapped up in an answer which dealt mostly with the unasked question of non-proliferation and containment, and on follow up,

…it is very important that Iran understands that an attack on Israel is an attack on our strongest ally in the region, one that we — one whose security we consider paramount, and that — that would be an act of aggression that we — that I would — that I would consider an attack that is unacceptable, and the United States would take appropriate action.

to Sen. Clinton’s more bellicose response

Of course I would make it clear to the Iranians that an attack on Israel would incur massive retaliation from the United States

which then lead to a more extensive explanation of the importance of non-proliferation and containment.

This was only the begining, though.  Here is further belicosity from Sen. Clinton on Good Morning America (also a Mickey Mouse property) when asked by Andrew Cuomo to expand on her earlier comments she said this:

I want the Iranians to know that if I’m the president, we will attack Iran…In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them.

So, what is my complaint here?  Is it the apparent inconsistency in Sen. Clinton’s position with regard to attacks, diplomacy or, for that matter, hypotheticals?  No, tho that is ably covered by Jake Tapper in this piece No, my complaint is the absurdity of the question, and why neither candidate demonstrated an understanding of the region by answering simply:

While such hypothetical scenario as an Iranian nuclear attack on Israel may seem stark, there is more heat there than light.  The more likely threat in the region is that with Iran’s expanding capability to enrich uranium, and their complicity in the training, arming and command and control of Hessbollah, and now Hamas; the more likely scenario is one in which the Iranians supply one of these terrorist forces, these avowed enemies of Israel, with a suitcase bomb.  If we are to be serious about such threats then we need to find productive means to engage Iran and bring them back into the community of nations who demonstrate through deeds as well as words their willingness to comply with the Nuclear Non-proliferation Treaty.  And should they fail to, we must make sure that they know that they will be held responsible not just for their actions, but for their client’s actions.

Of course the right question was not asked, and the right answer was not given.  Oh well, we can now look forward to World War III.

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The Independent has a cover story today about a Ministry of Defence curriculum being fed to the British schools which has the teachers union up in arms (so to speak). It is what the union reads as a revisionist history of the Iraq war. Here is an excerpt from their story:

At the heart of the union’s concern is a lesson plan commissioned by an organisation called Kids Connections for the Ministry of Defence aimed at stimulating classroom debate about the Iraq war.

In a “Students’ Worksheet” which accompanies the lesson plan, it stresses the “reconstruction” of Iraq, noting that 5,000 schools and 20 hospitals have been rebuilt. But there is no mention of civilian casualties.

In the “Teacher Notes” section, it talks about how the “invasion was necessary to allow the opportunity to remove Saddam Hussein” but it fails to mention the lack of United Nations backing for the war. The notes also use the American spelling of “program”.
Iraq: teachers told to rewrite history - Education News, Education - Independent.co.uk

That last sentence has Pawn wondering if someone in the American administration had a hand in this little propaganda campaign.

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In a post from Prague earlier today I referred to Florida Gov. Charlie Crist as “a fatuous moron.” This was in reference to his appearance on The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer on CNN which I had earlier seen. I was wrong, and for that I apologize.

My pique had been raised by Crist’s comments about holding a do-over Democratic primary in his state. I stated in that posting that Crists’s claims of his citizens being “disenfranchised” was fatuous since the leaders of the Democratic party in Florida had willfully broken the national party’s rules by holding their primary so early.

Again, I was wrong. I had forgotten, until Penn. Gov. Ed Rendell pointed out in a later broadcast segment that the Democratic party leaders in Florida had asked for their primary to be held on Feb. 5, Super Tuesday, but that Charlie Crist and his fellow Republicans in the state legislature overruled the Dems and voted to hold the primary earlier.

Fair enough. I’m a big man. I can admit when I’m wrong, and I will hereby post a correction. Charlie Crist is not a fatuous moron. Governor Charlie Crist is a fatuous duplicitous moron.

Oh, and Wolf Blitzer, who is actually paid to talk to people about this stuff is even more of a hack than I thought for not pointing this out to the duplicitous moron while he was on air.

Back to our regularly scheduled rants.

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And Charlie Crist is a fatuous moron.

Okay, now that we have the supposition stated, let’s proceed to examine the facts. Late last night, 01:00 CET, CNN International ran an episode of “Situation Room” with Wolf Blitzer which started with the most audacious display of hyperbolic palaver and partisan meddling I have ever witnessed.

The topic: Should the Democratic National Committee pay for Florida to have a “do over” primary election? The sole guest: Charlie Crist, Florida’s Republican governor. Charlie Crist is a self proclaimed messianic nut job, a man who ran for governor because Christ told him he would. And, he is a Republican — what could he possibly have to say about who should pay for the Democratic nominating elections? Well, what he had to say, over and over and over, unchallenged by Mr. Blitzer, is that the “only solution” was a primary election, if the “National Democratic Party” paid the $18 million or more that would cost.

He then went on to proclaim that the issue of the “disenfranchisement” of his citizens by the “National Democratic Party” was not a “partisan” issue, that his buddy Sen. Bill Menendez (R-FL), former head of the Republican National Committee agreed with him, as did Sen. Bob Nelson (D-FL) who has egg on his face (along with Michigan’s Sen. Carl Levin) for trying to perform an end run around the clearly stated, member supported and voted on, DNC rules which stated that no state could move their primary prior to February 5th or would face the loss of seating rights for their delegations at the party’s national nominating convention.

Where do we start with the monumental idiocy of that chain of reasoning? Let’s give it a try. First off, no one is disenfranchised here. There is no franchise, no right, which anyone has lost. The citizens of Florida have no franchise in the Democratic party other than to the extent to which they may be members in good standing of that party. If their state leaders decide to break the rules of the party, clearly stated and agreed to, then they are no longer in good standing and have no rights. The only affront to the Constitution would be if Florida stripped the Democratic Party of its right of free association by meddling in how it chooses and credentials its delegates.

One big problem with the state administering partisan primary elections is that this makes people think that they are state functions. They are not, they are partisan functions. In this case a partisan function of the highest order, as we are talking about the nominating process for the head of the party. You don’t get much more partisan than that. Simply because Crist and Menendez, (R), and Levin, Nelson and Michigan Gov. Granholm (D) agree that their states should have do overs does not mean that it is no longer a partisan issue. What possible reason, for example, could Crist and Menendez have to care about this? Well, for one their state stands to gain from a huge influx of campaign spending, on the order of tens of millions of dollars. Making this last point was the only demonstration of backbone in an otherwise jellyfish like appearance by Blitzer, by the way. The other reason, the other purely partisan reason that these two distinguished partisans would care? Well, because since their party has already locked in a nominee, their membership and supporters would feel free to go and meddle in the Democratic do-over.

Oh my, the blood boils at just how ridiculous this entire display was last night!

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What a full evening! I left hotel at 19:00 still not sure what I would do. I thought of Jazz at Club Redotu, but that’s at the west end of the Nové Mestro (New Town), and I didn’t want to do that much more walking. There is a program of Gershwin and Bernstein at Municipal Hall, which intrigues, and Black Theatre, which does as well. I left with just my jacket, leaving my coat behind. I figured I would start by seeing if I could get a cheap ticket for the concert, and then try Black Theatre if I couldn’t. Those are nearby, so I could travel light.

I struck out at the concert hall. Even though the house was opening as I got there, and was well under half sold, the cheapest ticket they would sell me was 700Kc, about $42. For an hour of music, basically 20th century classical pop, that’s just too steep for me. So I went in search of Black Theatre. Oops! Should have done some more research there, seems Thursday is the one night of the week that Black Theatre goes dark, ironic. Okay, jazz it is.

I knew it was far too early for the jazz club, so I decided to just stroll Wenceslas Square. On the way in from the airport, as the driver was giving me tips for my stay, he said “I don’t think you need to bother with Wenceslas Square, that’s for the younger crowd these days.” Well, he was right about that, but it was still a fun walk. The city is overrun with high school and college students right now. Many countries are on spring interval, which contributes to the mayhem. Interestingly, the gaggle of Italian high school girls who moved into my hotel last night have been complimented with an equal sized gaggle of German boys today. I expect international relations to heat up shortly.

Along the square the crowds were already thick before 20:00. There are several Casino along the square, along with nightclubs and bars. The crowds are courted by thickets of touts. These people, toting signs, wearing vests or holding handfuls of flyers, are in front of just about every business. Even McDonalds has theirs. “Casino, Bingo, Craps…” “Good food, you try?” “Beautiful girls, no cost to look…” “Karaoke, cards…” London and New York have their touts, too. In New York it’s the comedy and strip clubs that have the worst reputation. In London there are touts for just about anything, everywhere in the West End are ticket touts, and the signs telling you how many metres to the nearest McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Falafel or whatever are ubiquitous. They have nothing on Prague.

The touts, however, have met their match in the louts. I have long thought that American college aged, men in particular, were the worst louts around. I was wrong, and for that I apologize. Seems that once again globalisation has worked its magic, and louts the world over are pretty much the same. There are swarms of German, Italian, French and Spanish, Russian, Polish, and on and on, strutting and gamboling up and down the square shouting and carousing and spitting and generally making the worst possible case for the ascendancy of their particular homeland. Where is Genghis Khan when you need him?

Even so, it is an interesting spectacle to observe; I shrug off the touts and avoid the louts. As I work my way back from the bottom to the top of the square I decide to cross the shopping strip and see what’s on the other side. Within two blocks I am twice approached by drug touts. These are a subtle breed. Rather than the obvious, in your face style of the normal tout, these use more of an en passant move. You’re walking along, and the tout sidles up along side saying “Fummé, marijuana…” and watching closely for a reaction. Then they move on, as if they have never said a thing. Fine, the last thing I need is to be a poster child for the DEA.

After a lot of wandering and stalling it is finally time to go to the jazz club. I have been in just my jacket this whole time, but I am not really that cold. There are so many open doors (a beckoning tactic here) flooding the street with warmth, and it isn’t that cold, so I am surprisingly comfortable. I have been outside for almost two hours by the time I enter the jazz club, and other than my face, I don’t really feel it.

The club is small and intimate, which is a good thing as I am the only one there, besides the musicians and the staff, when I get there at 21:00. There are artifacts all around of a visit paid here by Bill Clinton, Madelaine Albright with Vaclav Havel and Vaclav Klaus in 1994. I sit in Vaclav Klaus’s seat. A smallish crowd does wander in by the time the first set starts at 21:40, and the quartet plays a set of covers of the likes of Freddy Hubbard and Miles Davis. The latter, from his Spanish phase, gets them rocking, and the audience is getting into it. They play one more and take a break. The second set, and the rest of the show, are originals, and pretty good. I hear influences from Terji Rypdal and Keith Jarrett, Herbie Hancock and others from the late 70’s, early 80’s. A very well played set of music.

I leave the club shortly before closing at 23:45 and start to walk back. The crowds are now reduced to just the drunkest tourists and the most appalled locals. I think I straddle both camps. I stop at one of the street vendors to get a “Classic Prague Würst”. As I approach the stand a pair of middle aged women ask, “Sprachen sie Deutsch?” “Nein,” I reply. The paradox of that catches them. “Was? Sie sprachen Deutsch!” “No, Anglais.” “Oh, English. Are you from England or America?” Those of you who read last night’s post can guess where this is headed. “I’m from both,” I say, and move towards the food stand and away from them. “You want to come to bar? Nice company bar, you know?” they say. “Company” in this context does not mean business… Wait, let me rephrase that. By “Company” they don’t mean firm… Well, you get my drift. They are trying to get me to go to a Cabarét or some other venue where some nice lady (I’m sure) will keep me company for the night, or however long it takes to drain my wallet. No thanks. I pretend not to hear them anymore, get my sausage (stop snickering) and walk away. Behind me I still hear “You speak English…”

Another night of culture in Prague, one of the oldest cities in the world.

Ciao ciao!

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